3rd World Story

Despite being less than an hour away by plane from Florida and having millions of tourists grace our shores annually, The Bahamas is still a third world country. I don’t think we like to admit that to ourselves sometimes because our outward appearance is like that of any other person you might see in the U.S. We wear the Ralph Lauren, the Aeropostale and the like and our homes and equipped  with the modern kitchen appliances. But we still depend on the U.S. to import many of our foods and even fruits that we could very well grow here.

The first step is to admitting that we have a problem. We are dependent on the U.S. for so much and that’s kind of sad because if things go to crap because of war or the U.S. messes up their alliances with an oil-supplying country, we’re going to feel that bruise just as much.

No matter how much we try to keep up with the United States’ technologies and the rest of the materialistic junk, it won’t change the fact that we as a country although “independent” since 1973, can’t stand on our own two feet if our lives depended on it and each generation that comes up will be wiser but weaker. They will be hip to all that’s new and shiny but would frown up their noses at real oranges because they aren’t all sweet nor are they all that fake bright color.

Anywho,  I just thought readers should know that yes we are a third world country, a very proud one at that. So don’t go asking us if we have inside toilets and live in straw huts and what not. You won’t get a pleasant response. But in truth, 95% of what is in our food stores comes from “the States”.

That’s for the Birds!

As a kid growing up on a family island, you tend to get yourself into some interesting adventures wondering through the bushes. Always fascinated with food, I remember eating some weird looking plants and seeds, thankfully I never got sick or poisoned.

Centella asiatica

My friends and I would pretend a certain flower was lipstick and put it on our lips (no color ever came off) and then suck the nectar from it. The way I see it now is that most of modern medicines are plant-based so I had the right idea about getting it straight from the source. I don’t know the name of the “lipstick flower” but I know it when I see and it always brings back a fond memory.

Shot & Burned

In Nassau a few days ago, police found the body of a man, shot and burned beyond recognition.

According to reports,

“Officers at the scene of the incident at Lily of the Valley Corner off East Street, initially responded to calls that a Ford Explorer was engulfed in flames.

After firefighters extinguished the blaze, it was discovered that a man was inside the vehicle. Upon further examination, investigators discovered what appeared to be a gunshot wound in the right side of the victim’s head. The incident happened at around 6:20 am.  Authorities are urging members of the public to come forward with any information they might have of the incident.”

Exclamation Point!

In Bahamianese we have various ways to show our emotions through words. You will rarely hear someone say something like this **in my valley girl voice**”Oh my gosh! That is so totally cool!” You’d probably get some weird looks on that so here are common words/phrases that we use in showing excitement.

**Remember to use in proper context! Just because you hear it, doesn’t mean you say it.**

Well Holy Savior pilot me! – is like saying Lord help me stay in control because this child is about to get a whooping!

Well muddasick dred! – No one’s  mother is sick. This can be used when you’re happy, sad, upset, frustrated… it’s pretty universal. Variations of this include: well motorbike, well monkeyfoot, well muddoes, well murda.

Bey! – another universal word that is used in many ways. Mostly referring to when you’re calling someone you’d say “Bey, come here,” but it can be used to signal agreement in excitement. Eg. If a friend told you something sad you’re response could be “Bey, thas a lite wybe,” or if you got some pretty exciting news it’d be “Bey, thas awesome bey!”

Chal!/Chile please (don’t make me sneeze) – I like to use this one, well, just the chal part. Chile please is more like saying I’m not interested or checking… sorta like saying get real or something. Just listen for it in context because you wouldn’t say it if someone just told you their kid/aunt/uncle just died.

Dred – is like a shortened form of muddasick dred but can also be used to describe something that is really good i.e. that shirt look dred aye!

Tru tru – is said in agreement instead of saying OK.

Don’t do it! – This is a newer phrase that just became popular in the last 3-4 years. It doesn’t always mean literally don’t do something, but again, one of those things said in excitement or disagreement. An older version of this is don’t play with me!

Ya lie!/ Fa true? – can be used interchangeably  if someone is telling you something that is really hard to believe.

Talkin Sex Stuff

So I was trying to think of a way to group some Bahamian words and I realized we have a lot of different terms for sex-related things. I’ll try to keep it as clean as the topic allows. Me giving these and their definition by no means is me suggesting that you use these terms but rather to simply make you aware of what is actually being said if you’re in a conversation with a group of Bahamians.

Boonggy/bungy/boongie: n. refers to one’s bottom or behind. V. anal penetration.

Eg. 1.) She gat a solid boonggy bey! 2.) Why you walkin’ like you get bungy?!

Bread: n. refers to female genitals.

Bubby: adj. used to describe the shape of one’s lips. It’s usually used to say that it’s big and round. n. refers to a woman’s breasts.

Eg. 1.) Thas a bubby lip aye! 2.) She gat a big boonggy and big bubby!

Crabby: n. refers to female genitals.

Cuckoo soup: soup into which certain bodily fluids are placed to “tame a man”, especially one who is trying to win the heart of that man; said to have magical powers in winning the man in marriage.NYC 400

Doggy: n. refers to male genitals.

Gun casin: used to describe the curves of a woman’s upper thigh area (ie. like a cowboys’ gun case) to say that she is curvacious.

Sweetheart/sweetheartin’: to have an affair or be cheating with someone who is not your spouse/(main) significant other.

(Da) Wammy: n. HIV/AIDS. Used in a derogatory sense.

The act of sex has many different terms and has changing over time with new generations. Here are a few of those terms:

Juicing, grinding (the d is silent), sexin’.

Again,  this list of words is not for you to go around talking this way because it just sounds vulgar. It’s just to inform you of what’s really being said and you’ll think twice before asking someone if they juice (and I’m talking about making juice using a juicer).